Total Eclipse of the Heart

So, I saw Eclipse the other night.

BEFORE you judge harshly, consider the following:

1.) I went with my class and it was the only movie in English playing at the theater.

2.) See above.

I haven't seen the other Twilight movies, mostly because I have heard that they totally suck AND because they have yet to be played on a loop on TBS or TNT on a random Sunday afternoon, which is when I usually prefer to watch movies that totally suck. That being said, I didn't go into this expecting much, so I was able to enjoy my time watching the film and giggling at the cheese.

Yeah, it sucked. It wasn't the worst movie I've ever seen in my life, but it was pretty awful. I guess I can see why twelve year-olds are taking this stuff to heart, but I'm kind of perplexed about basically anyone over twelve who does. Robert Pattinwhatever has a strange, pale glow for the entire film, making him appear considerably less attractive and Kristen Stewwhocares' character has eerie fake brown eyes. I can't help but think that fake brown eyes make someone look kind of lifeless and empty. Also, why does she have to have them? Is it a MUST? I'm confused.

I did not see any real indication that the main couple had an amazingly romantic and cool relationship. Maybe that's because I missed all the romantic and cool stuff in the first two movies, but something tells me (a.k.a. everyone I know that has seen it) that I didn't miss much. In that same vein, does anyone else notice that this relationship is completely unhealthy, co-dependent and possessive?! This girl needs to get out and FAST. She's dating a guy that can read thoughts and has no soul...RUN!

Okay, but my biggest beef with this story is the fact that this girl is planning on giving up her life, losing her soul, and becoming a blood-sucking monster for this guy, BUT, BUT, BUT! They absolutely must NOT have sex until marriage. This is the part of the story where I remembered the fact that a Mormon house-wife writes this crap. Sure ladies, SELL YOUR SOUL FOR A MAN, BUT DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HIM UNTIL DOING SO!

I'm actually not enraged about this at all, though the caps lock may indicate otherwise. I just think it's a shame that this is what the little people are all wrapped-up in these days. Today is the 15th anniversary of the release of Clueless and sure, it was about shopping and boys and parties, but it was also sharp, witty and fun. As IF this Twilight crap can even hold a candle to that gem. They don't make 'em like that anymore.

And plus, I'd take Paul Rudd over Robert Pattindork any day.

Curiosity Killed the Tiger

I don't really care about this Tiger Woods drama. I'm not surprised; isn't this kind of the quietly accepted norm among professional athletes? However, when I came across Michael Bader's, "Everything You Think You Know About Tiger Woods is Wrong, So Shut the F**** Up!", I couldn't help but agree.

Okay, I admit it-I indulge in celebrity gossip. It's a guilty pleasure and when I say guilty, I mean it- I feel a little petty as I read about how Jennifer Aniston is "DONE with immature boys!" I know there are better things to be filling my head with and the more I learn, the more I see what a negative effect its focus has on society as a whole. SO, that being said, I've been limiting my indulgences.

Bader says,

"I like to read celebrity gossip; it's titillating, funny, and often outrageous. I suppose that it's a comfort to know that celebrities and others we put

on pedestals are screwed up just like us. Then, for just a moment, we don't have to feel badly about our own problems. But I try not to confuse this game with reality."

But the main (and I think most accurate) point he makes is:

The fact is that we're the victims, the perpetrators, and the observers. We act selfishly, lust after people other than our partners, feel rejected and abandoned, have fetishes and weird fantasies, feel guilty, make amends, love and hate. We are afflicted and we sometimes afflict others. But we're desperate for relief from these internal states and are therefore relieved to find them in others. I suppose it can entertaining, but we should know that we're doing it.

Pretty spot on, huh?

Grand Old Pest

Ugh, what is this annoying itch? Ahh, it won't go away! I can't stand it! It must be a bad rash. Oh, wait...it's... SARAH PALIN.

Her book is being dismissed as nonsense and scoffed at, even by Republicans. I caught part of her Oprah interview, but had to turn it off because I was so uncomfortable. I almost felt bad for her...almost. She's dense, deluded, and deceptive.

Alright, I'm sick of talking about this goon. This post was written for the sole purpose of posting this hilarious clip:

40 Years of Sunny Days

Happy 40th birthday, Sesame Street!

This morning, as I got ready for work, I listened to a segment on the radio all about the history of Sesame Street and they, of course, played the theme song. I hadn't realized that it's been ages since I heard that song and when I did, a wave of happy nostalgic feelings hit me.

Most of the very familiar things I grew up with (Disney, Coca-Cola, McDonald's, Oprah, etc.) have soured over the years; the reality of their big, corporate, hypocritical actions have tainted my pre-conceived notions of what I thought I knew so well...but not Sesame Street. Sesame Street is still its quirky, lovable self in my mind.

I'm sure my mother was unendingly thankful for the PBS line-up back in the late 80's; I remember her ironing in the basement before she had to leave for work, while I played and was happily entertained by my favorite monsters and their human friends. What I didn't know then is that I was learning- not just about numbers, letters, colors and grouchy creatures living in garbage cans, but about diversity and acceptance. (Yes, I realize that sounds cheesy, but it's true.) I was a little white girl in the Northwest suburbs of Chicago, so seeing a variety of different looking people from different backgrounds everyday on TV was a good thing.

I was talking about this with a friend of mine this morning, and we both noted what a unique show it was- the almost gritty, urban set seemed real (it has since cleaned up a bit, apparently to coincide with the "clean up" of New York) and the monsters were unlike anything else we'd seen before. It was innovative and it was ours. They spoke to kids in a language we understood, never condescending, but almost with respect; they knew how smart and capable we really were.

While searching for Sesame Street related articles, I came across How Sesame Street Changed The World, a Newsweek article from earlier this year, about (obviously) the show's influence, where it's been, where it is and its future. Here's a blurb:

It is, arguably, the most important children's program in the history of television. No show has affected the way we think about education, parenting, childhood development and cultural diversity, both in the United States and abroad, more than Big Bird and friends. You might even say that Sesame Street changed the world, one letter at a time.

When I was four, I could have cared less about the show's cultural influence (I didn't even know the what the words cultural and influence meant) and I certainly was unaware about how much I was actually learning. I just knew I loved it and that it was a very special show about a bunch of silly monsters and their friendly neighbors, inviting us to "come and play where everything's A-okay..."

I was more than happy to oblige...and chances are, you were too ;)

Here's one of my all-time favorite clips of Smokey Robinson and the letter U, putting a new spin on "You've Really Got a Hold On Me":

Gleeful

Well, color me "normal", but I (along with probably you, your mom and everyone else) am just tickled pink about Glee. Yes, it's campy. Yes, it's over the top. YES, they break out into perfect song at a moment's notice...precisely why I'm so smitten. I mean, I think this is just what we need these days (y'know with the recession, mass genocides, the implosion of capitalism and the impending ice age...)- something that POPS off the screen, grabs us by the hand and dances us around our living rooms for an hour a week.

It's been awhile since I've been this committed to a show on network television; I rarely find something I actually want to commit to. I just can't be tied down, y'know? My TV viewing usually involves re-runs on cable, like Real Housewives on Bravo because, well, they're ALWAYS on and I just...can't...turn...away. So, yeah, it's been awhile since a television show sent my heart a flutter, wondering what's around the next brightly colored, harmonious corner.

Wednesday's episode was so delightful, I had to watch it twice. With a line like, "I'm going to go to the animal shelter, get you a kitty cat, and then when you've fallen in love with that kitty cat, I'm going to steal into your house in the middle of the night, and punch you in the face." pointedly delivered by Jane Lynch's Sue Sylvester, how could I not? Oh and this Puckerman character is getting hotter by the second.

The joy that Glee fills me with is not unlike the excitement in the beginning of a new romance- right now it is sweet, fresh, and exhilarating. I can't wait to see it again. I have yet to know what's around the corner for us- will Glee jump the shark soon? Will the storyline grow tired? Will the Rachel/Finn & Emma/Will anticipation drag on for far too long (i.e. Ross & Rachel)? Who's to know?

I will say this, Glee has my Wednesday night attention for the foreseeable future. I don't want to say the "L" word just yet, but I guess you could say we're kind of going steady.

Ohhh, That Ain't Riiiight...

A few blurbs from "Watch What You Tweet" posted on Oregonlive.com by Democracy Now's Amy Goodman:

A social worker from New York City was arrested last week while in Pittsburgh for the G-20 protests, then subjected to an FBI raid this week at home -- all for using Twitter. Elliot Madison faces charges of hindering apprehension or prosecution, criminal use of a communication facility and possession of instruments of crime. He was posting to a Twitter feed (or tweeting, as it is called) publicly available information about police activities around the G-20 protests, including information about where police had issued orders to disperse...

...While alerting people to public information may not seem to be an arrestable offense, be forewarned: Many people have been arrested for the same "crime" -- in Iran, that is.

Madison, his wife and housemates were roused from sleep during the weekend when the Joint Terrorism Task Force swept into their house, handcuffing them for hours, searching the house and removing computers and other property from everyone in the house. Madison said the FBI "for 16 hours, proceeded to take everything, from plush toys to kitchen magnets and lots of books ... they took Curious George stuffed animals."

This is what our tax dollars are going to? Big Brother, anyone? Read the whole article. It's short.

O'Reeeeeeealllly?

This man (and his arsenal of arrogance and ignorance) is endlessly entertaining...

O’REILLY: The public option now is done. We discussed this, it’s not going to happen. But you say that this little marketplace that they’re going to set up, whereby the federal government would subsidize insurance for some Americans, that is, in your opinion, a public option?

OWCHARENKO: Well, it has massive new federal regulation. So you don’t necessarily need a public option if the federal government is going to control and regulate the type of health insurance that Americans can buy.

O’REILLY: But you know, I want that, Ms. Owcharenko. I want that. I want, not for personally for me, but for working Americans, to have a option, that if they don’t like their health insurance, if it’s too expensive, they can’t afford it, if the government can cobble together a cheaper insurance policy that gives the same benefits, I see that as a plus for the folks.

GCar

So, I know I'm many days and many dollars short on this realization, but in the world of ME, this just in: George Carlin is comic brilliance defined.

The other night I spent an hour and a half just watching clips of his stand-up on youtube and was amazed by the content of his material. In my opinion (it is my blog, after all), really good humor comes from incredibly perceptive minds, and never is that more evident than in Carlin's brand of comedy. He uses this perceptiveness and farce to shed light on our ridiculous and ultimately destructive human behavior.

Here are some highlights...

We Like War

You Have No Rights

Stuff

Our Similarities

War On Homlessness

R.I.P. K.O.P.

"Michael Jackson was so gifted, so lonely, so confused, so sad. He lost happiness somewhere in his childhood, and spent his life trying to go back there and find it. When he played the Scarecrow in The Wiz (1978), I think that is how he felt, and Oz was where he wanted to live..."
-Roger Ebert

The first CD I ever purchased was Dangerous by Michael Jackson. I still have it. It's safe to say that Michael was undoubtedly the best performer of our generation. He was also, unfortunately, a very troubled soul.

When I was little I used to dream about casually telling my bratty neighbors that my friend "Mike" was coming over only to have a large helicopter land in my backyard from which the King of Pop emerged. (I also used to dream that Aerosmith would accidentally knock on my next door neighbors' door looking for me, but that's a different story.) Anyway, I loved him and like many children, I related to him. Pirates of the Caribbean in your backyard?! Sign me up!

But as time went on, he got too weird to love anymore and his story got too sad and too strange to justify.

A few years back, during his most recent child molestation trial, I watched a very interesting documentary on VH1 about Michael. The focus was on just how a person could end up in his state. They had experts and psychologists commenting on his life and the conclusion was that it was clear that this person was very sick and detached from reality and it was very clear that this kind of behavior was indicative of a history of some very serious child abuse and growing up in the spotlight.

Roger Ebert's quote was the most spot-on thing I've read amidst all the media fodder in the last day. The saddest thing about our once beloved Michael is not his recent death, but his tragic demise into adult life.

When thinking of him, it is very difficult to separate the strange from the extraordinary, but when watching or hearing him perform, it is all too easy.

Ode to Billy Bob

I recently heard the song "Electric Feel" by MGMT and loved it. Am I behind the times? Probably. Anyway, I looked it up on youtube today and watched the video. This music video (as many other music videos) is on drugs and doesn't make much sense, BUT there is a cameo by "Billy Bob Brokali", that bear from Showbiz Pizza (my favorite place in the world when I was 3 years old, which now goes by the less sparkling and not nearly as appealing name of Chuck E. Cheese).

I don't know what Billy Bob Brokali has to do with this song, but I used to really like him and now I really like this song, so all in all, I think it's a good thing.

An unassuming family enjoys a meal with their down home pal, Billy Bob Brokali. Unbeknownst to them (and Billy!), Billy Bob would soon be obliterated by a rodent take-over, also known as Chuck E. Cheese.

Thank you, Gawker. 10 Things You May Have Missed On TV This Week is pure gold. That baby thing? Heidi? Love it.

Happy Friday!

One-A-Day

I found a new, awesome website today and you all need to check it out- onearticleperday.com

It led me to "Why the West is Boyle'd", an article about Scottish overnight sensation, Susan Boyle from the Asia Times Online. This is an Eastern perspective on this current Western obsession.

Here's a blurb:

Churlish resentment of high culture comes from the slacker's desire for reward with neither merit nor effort: the sort of artistic skill that requires years of discipline and sacrifice is a reproach to the indolence of the popular audience of the West. Better voices than Boyle's can be found in a thousand choirs and amateur theatricals, but the crowd has embraced this late-hatching Scottish songbird as a symbol of its own aspirations.

There's no doubt about it- Americans (and pretty much Western civilization in general) live in a bubble...a big, powerful bubble, but a bubble still. So it's interesting to get another take on all this mumbo jumbo we so easily get caught up in and distracted by.

Nice To Tweet You

I've caved.

I joined Twitter.

A friend was referring someone's "fascinating" updates and I had to see for myself.

Now I can't stop looking at stupid celebritys' "tweets". (Yes, "tweets" has now entered my vernacular.)

I'm really surprised at how much Ashton and Demi put up on the web...pictures, videos, etc. So far I've learned that "Mrs. Kutcher" has the same taste in books my mom and she is really enjoying her new Kindl.

My brain = mush.

Save me.

Who doesn't love a good slide show? Check out the New York Press Photographers Award winners.

Photo journalism rox.

Dropping it Like it's Luke Warm

The "Funky Fresh Senior Choir " drop some phat beats, yo.

(THIS is a gem!)















*Credit to Jonathan Errico for finding this.

FYI: Tom Cruise is Hot Again

Has anyone noticed that Tom Cruise has been looking hot again lately?
(Don't get me wrong, I still think he's a little nut ball.)

I used to think Tom Cruise was the handsomest man alive. Looking back now, I realize that I probably liked the small man with boyish looks because I was between the ages of 5 and 14 at the time. Oh, and he wasn't obviously CRAZY yet.

Prop 8: The Musical

"Prop 8 - The Musical" starring Jack Black, John C. Reilly, and many more... by Jack Black

Au-some

I have to share Summer Heights High with y'all! It's an Australian show and it is PURE brilliance! It's shot as a "mockumentary" with comedian Chris Lilley (creator and writer of the show as well) playing the three main characters in an Australian public high school. I have to give big props to Rachael for bringing this back from the land of Oz.

The link I included is just the trailer, but I think if you're the kind of person that appreciates things that are outrageous, smart and hilarious, you'll want to see more.

Enjoy!

(Youtube search for clips. I'm pretty sure you have to download entire episodes.)

Mmmmm, beefy

Had to share this hilarious Hungarian sausage commercial that was posted on boingboing.net today.

Boy, do I miss meat!
(NOT!)*

















*Every once and awhile I find it's nice to bring back hip 90's phrases. Keep your eyes peeled for "no duh" in upcoming posts.

Dumb it Down America!

The economy's in the crapper and we're spending at least $200 million every day on an unpopular war, so leave it to Good Morning America to deliver the real, nitty gritty, hard-hitting news to us...or not.

I rarely tune into GMA, but it happened to be on this morning as I got ready for work and I couldn't help but stand in cringing awe of this totally lame, consumeristic segment about the packaging on certain products. At first I thought they'd go into the environmental standpoint of uneccessary packaging, but silly me! They just want to talk about how tough it can be to open those testy little packages on Christmas morning!

"Good morning, America! Here's some useless information about consumer products to distract you from any real, troubling issues that might happen to cross your mind in between Dancing with the Stars and Gossip Girl!"




Oh, and please note "goofy" Diane Sawyer donning construction goggles.
Get out of there, Diane! Get out before you turn into a cartoon!