We. Are. Golden.

I'm pretty sure everyone wishes that they had a soundtrack to their lives. I do. I really, really do. That would be so cool. It would also completely validate the already melodramatic thoughts I have in my brain everyday.

Along that same vein, I've always dreamed of making a hilarious, but heart-felt music video with friends. I mean, who hasn't? Sooo, as my departure approached last spring, I decided that I had to do a music video with my two best guys/gays, Nate and Dustin. What better time than just before I dramatically depart for the wilds of Latin America (or something like that)?

So, we got together on an unseasonably cold (you can't tell from my outfit but I was FREEZING) spring afternoon and made a video to Mika's "Happy Ending". Nate learned how to edit and put it all together in ONE day. He and Dustin Skyped me for the premier two nights ago...I've been gone for almost two months now and I think this is the part where I start feeling a little home-sick from time to time and reflecting on the things and people I miss. I am so happy to be here, but sometimes, when a Friday night (or a Tuesday or a Wednesday...) rolls around, I'd like nothing more than to be giggling between my two favorite boys. Needless to say, this brought tears to my eyes.

The following video was improv'd on the spot, is completely cheesy, over-the-top, and in my opinion, a dorktastic masterpiece. Enjoy! (Oh, and there's 9 minutes of this cheese, so don't stop watching after the first song!)

PS- My friends don't do coke...those double image shots are from a photo project that Nate did.

FRIDAY THE 12TH!

Aww, shucks! No killin' today...

My friend Wayne posted this on Facebook today. Thanks, Wayne!

Happy Friday the 12th, y'all!

(AND happy birthday to my cousin Courtney!)

Sick Day

I am currently enduring a pesky case of the common cold. I think I'll live, but considering that my head feels like it may implode at any moment, I'm a bit lethargic today.

Anyway, here are some fascinating finds from my stuffy-headed time on the world wide web today:

** This reminds me of something I would have thought was the most wonderful thing in the entire world when I was six years old- Falling Down the Guggenheim Museum Wall.

** Not surprised by the list, but I like the captions- The 11 Most Ironically Banned Books of All Time.

** Hey, want to waste time making noise/music on the internet?- inudge.net

** The Super Bowl is kinda gross- Half-naked Hot Chicks and Beer: The Sexist Guyland of the Super Bowl Beer Commercial.

** Anyone think that's kind of odd?- More Blackwater Contractors Than Cops in Pakistan's Capitol.

Happy (almost) Friday!

Here's some Friday feel-good for y'all...

This just makes me smile.

Bubble-vicious

This isn't relevant news, but it did haunt my dreams last night:

Ukrainian student killed by exploding chewing gum

21:57 08/12/2009 A chemistry student from the northern Ukrainian city of Konotop was killed when a stick of chewing gum exploded in his mouth, Ukrainian media reported on Tuesday.>>

Other news of the day

I just...can't...imagine that. That is SO messed up!

This is the kind of weather that makes me want to put on my brown puffy vest, a cozy sweater, and head off into the foliage filled wilderness in a Wagoneer.

Is wood paneling going to make a comeback anytime soon? How about an electric powered reissued Wagoneer? Sounds good to me :)

((Shannon and I happened across one in Manhattan back in August. Only one of my very best friends would be a nostalgic DORK about wood paneling like me.))

Who the HELL Potty Trained This Kid?!

A 4-year old boy in England flushed his puppy down the toilet because he thought it needed a bath.

Ode to Billy Bob

I recently heard the song "Electric Feel" by MGMT and loved it. Am I behind the times? Probably. Anyway, I looked it up on youtube today and watched the video. This music video (as many other music videos) is on drugs and doesn't make much sense, BUT there is a cameo by "Billy Bob Brokali", that bear from Showbiz Pizza (my favorite place in the world when I was 3 years old, which now goes by the less sparkling and not nearly as appealing name of Chuck E. Cheese).

I don't know what Billy Bob Brokali has to do with this song, but I used to really like him and now I really like this song, so all in all, I think it's a good thing.

An unassuming family enjoys a meal with their down home pal, Billy Bob Brokali. Unbeknownst to them (and Billy!), Billy Bob would soon be obliterated by a rodent take-over, also known as Chuck E. Cheese.

Wingwoman

My friend, Shannon is looking for part-time work in New York and found the ad below on Craigs List. Hilarious.

$30/hour: Personal Introduction Assistant / "wingwoman" (Midtown)

---

Date: 2009-05-20, 6:42AM EDT


We have an opening for a part-time personal introduction assistant, aka a "wingwoman."

You must be classy and dress well.

Beyond that you must be able to do 4 things: 1) start conversations with beautiful women; 2) after that, remain totally silent, unless spoken directly to, but smile and look friendly while the man you are "winging" orchestrates the social situation; 3) socialize and block any man or woman attempting to interfere with the man you are winging and any woman he is chatting with; and 4) end any conversation you are having instantly at the direction of the man you are winging. These requirements are essential, not for everyone, and difficult to do well.

Now, this is a job (that's why you get paid), but it's very fun, and you may even make new friends, or even meet someone special, if it doesn't interfere with your primary employment purpose.

This job is not for you if you are uptight, frumpy, grumpy, shy, a man-hater, a debbie downer, a critic, a control freak, a pouter, a therapist, researching, writing an article, with the press, a prostitute, an escort, a relationship counselor, or a feminist with a bone to pick. Gack.

You must be 18, usually 21 for the events we attend. All work is in public at cocktail parties, charity benefits, museum openings, and the like. You will be added to any list in advance, and any fees for the event will be paid. You are responsible for transportion. Subways are $2. Although many events have free food and drink, this isn't dating, so don't ask to be bought anything. If you do ask, by mistake, don't be grumpy and bring the mood down when the answer is a polite no, or you will be paid for the time you have spent and politely sent packing.

This job is definitely for you if you are easygoing, classy, dress extremely well, and enjoy many, varied, and sometimes challenging social situations.

Our roster of full-time wingwomen is full, but we do have a part-time opening. Yes we are serious. Yes we are real. You might even have the time of your life.

Fan mail, hate mail, and non-responsive replies will not receive answers, so save us both the time and don't bother.

Please respond with a photo and contact information to the craigslist email in this ad. Thank you for your time.

Kate

My friend Dan directed me to urbandictionary.com and told me to search for my name. Click here for the results.

Sure, these results actually have nothing to do with me, but a girl can dream...and a girl can be inspired to live up to her mighty name and try her hardest to be the "coolest person you will ever meet".

Marijuana Pepsi

The Freakonomics Blog is the gift that keeps on giving: they posted a blog featuring this article about a woman named Marijuana Pepsi. Sometimes it isn't all in a name.

WARNING: Adorable

The weather here is unseasonably cold, rainy and generally miserable so I'm here to warm your hearts with this link to cutethingsfallingasleep.org. Coo over adorable creatures as golden slumbers fill their eyes...

Tickled Pink

Too wacky to be true (but it is!): the world's only pink Bottlenose dolphin!

This *fabulous* creature was discovered in an inland lake in Louisiana.

Kittenspiration

Here's a little something to brighten up your day- "Kittens Inspired by Kittens"

This is hilarious and adorable...hilorable!

Mmmmm, beefy

Had to share this hilarious Hungarian sausage commercial that was posted on boingboing.net today.

Boy, do I miss meat!
(NOT!)*

















*Every once and awhile I find it's nice to bring back hip 90's phrases. Keep your eyes peeled for "no duh" in upcoming posts.

Typs

Lately I've noticed that abbreviations (abbreevs?) are all the rage.

Well, I'm here to share one that's been working very well for me lately..."Typs".
(Short for "typical")

Now, maybe some trendy scenester has already coined this term, but I'm hear to stake my claim as current "typs" representative in the Edgewater neighborhood (also known as Edubz).

"Typs" is used best when frustrated:
"UGH- that is SO typs!"
or
"Jeffrey left the seat up again...TYPS!"

It helps to roll your eyes at some point in the delivery. Also, please make sure to emphasize the "p" and the "s". Whoever you're talking to will really feel your displeasure with whatever typs behavior is currently frosting your cookies.



Spread the "typs", love the "typs", but don't be "typs"!

5

My friend Dustin's newest "man of interest" is 4/5. According to Dust, this means that this guy meets 4 of the 5 dating standards he's set.

Of course I have standards, but I've never narrowed them down to 5 and stacked them up one on top of the other. It's a good idea. (Even the list does get tossed one day...)

My 5

1) Intelligent
2) Attractive
3) Informed/involved (left leaning, of course)
4) Funny/down to earth
5) Feels right

((I grouped informed with involved, they go hand in hand...and the kind of funny I prefer is down to earth. Call it cheating but it's my freakin' list. #5 exists to seal the deal.))

Nothing special, I know. I'm keeping it general; specifics paint me into a corner.

I have yet to really meet anyone that has scored a 5. I have an ex that at one point I would have blissfully proclaimed was a 5+, but bliss wore off and reality set in. He was a 4, but no 5.

I'll meet a guy out that's obviously attractive, but obviously unimpressive- completely content with being "normal" and totally "dude/bro". OR I'll come across a really smart, informed individual that just isn't boyfriend-y. (Unfortunately the "dude/bros" are much more frequent...)

My plight is unexceptional, I know. I think that may be the most frustrating part.

Forgive the single girl- I'm sitting in a metaphorical waiting room, getting sick of the scenery. It helps to draw up plans.
(Even if it is just to kill time.)

Little Man LIVES!

A few years ago, Rachael and I found an amazing little creature in the basement of her grandparent's cottage in Kentucky. We dubbed him "Little Man". He is a legend.

So, imagine my surprise (and delight!) when he popped up on Perez today! L.M. was compared to the charming but ambiguously homosexual, John Travolta!

It's the little things in life, people...or, in this case, the Little Man.

Coooooooool

Sometimes I see things like this new Lego watch and wish I had an excuse to not only buy, but use them. C'mon, you have to admit this is totally rad.

The Office

So, yesterday my boss walks over to my desk with a hand full of ripped up paper...

She sighs.

Then she says, "I accidentally ripped these up, but I shouldn't have. Could you please put them back together and call the number on them and schedule an appointment to get our water meters read?"


So, she ripped up some mail, realized what she'd done, and then plopped a pile of ripped up post cards on my desk to have me deal with it.

I wish I could say this type of thing was abnormal around here...